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Tied Up W/ Havotek: Kink 101

Tied Up W/ Havotek: Kink 101

Hey everybody!

I’m Havotek, You can call me “Havoc”, or “Havo” for short! I’m here to talk to you about kink and the MANY flavors it comes in!

I’m a Scruffy Kinkster and Masterclass “Rigger” that identifies with the “Pup” Side of the Kink Community, and Pro-Kink Educator. I’m here to help you discover your kinky side and connect you with communities where you can grow and feel accepted in a safe and sex Positive way! In this blog series, “Tied up with Havotek”, I’ll be discussing the very BASICS of KINK: What it is, the history behind it, and a few of the different flavors to help you narrow down what community you identify with!

Now that you know a little about ME, Lets talk about something KINKY!

The 101, The 411, the brief history of KINK:
While there are many forms and colors of the kinky rainbow, Here is a brief summary of what it means, where it comes from, and how to find YOURS!

First its important to understand the difference between KINKsters and Fetishes. Everyone is a little bit KINKY because everyone has what’s called a FETISH. A FETISH is a form of KINK you identify with on an erotic level. A few different kinds of fetishes  are “Vanilla Sex”, smoking, leather, bondage, tickling, eating or being fed, role play, etc…Anything that turns you on can be considered a fetish.




Let’s start with one everyone has heard of – BDSM. Let’s break it down!

B is for BONDAGE, a form of restraint for sexual thrill. Common materials used for this kink are leather, rope (my favorite), latex, and basically anything you can tie up your WILLING participant with!

D is for DOMINANCE & DISCIPLINE. It all started with the Kamasutra, and is known as consensual aggression inflicted for sexual pleasure.It is VERY IMPORTANT to note that there is a DIFFERENCE between AGGRESSION and VIOLENCE.

CONSENT is KEY!!! Please make sure all participants are WILLING to take part in your scene, and you have discussed and expressed your limitations CLEARLY to your partner/s. Make sure you have discussed a safe word or action prior to every scene in order to prevent unintended bodily or mental harm. If you cover all your bases, you will be able to evolve your variety of FUN again and AGAIN!

S&M, commonly known as “SADOMASOCHISM.” This is generally the BOGO of the BDSM Family. Typically paired together, it can be broken down into two like-minded but very different parts. Self-inflicted consensual harm or submission for sexual thrill and pleasure is commonly known as SADISM. The receiving or giving of consensual harm or domination for sexual thrill is commonly known as masochism.



And THAT’S IT! Those are your BDSM Basics! Now that you know a little bit more about the history of kink and fetishes, look forward to future posts recognizing individual KINKS, how to practice them safely, and how you can use them to make the BEST of your scenes to connect with like-minded members of your kinky community!

Have Questions? KINKY Topic Suggestions? Stories or Experiences you want to share? Want to See a Demo or Learn to tie Knots? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT! I would LOVE to hear your recommendations for topics to cover on the CAM4 Gay Blog or perform a demo  during a cam show on my CAM4 profile!

Don’t be shy – shoot me a message to my inbox! Drop in during one of my regularly scheduled Kinkster Shows!

Can’t wait to see you around!




Check out his CAM4 interview HERE


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Twitter: @cam4_gay
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For more information on all things BDSM, kink gear and consent, check out these websites:

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